"Lucy Harbin was declared legally insane today."

"It all started on a hot, sticky Saturday night..."

So begins 1964's Strait Jacket, narrated by Lucy's now grown daughter Carol.

The pre-credit prologue is set in 1944, and Lucy is happily married to hunky Frank Harbin, but while she's out of town for the weekend, the hot (but not terribly bright) Frank hits up a local floozy, and takes her back to his place for a little voh-de-oh-doh.

NOT a good idea.

Well, she does go in the house, to her everlasting shame (not to mention her everlasting death).

And (happily over-sexed morons that they are) they don't even bother to shut the door to daughter Carol's room whilst they engage in their sinful urges!

Gross. Young Carol pretty much sees everything, if you know what I mean.

BUT (and this is a pretty big but)as the voiceover narration explains:

Cut to:  the midnight train from Mukwonago pulling into town.

"Very much a woman, and very much aware of the fact." Was Crawford playing herself?

Best photograph EVER!

Scorning a taxi or bus ride out to her modest homestead, Lucy walks home on that hot sweaty night and sneaks a joyful peak in the window, so happy she is to be reunited with her humpy hubby.

But instead she sees this:

We're caught in a trap...

I can't hold back...

...because I love you too much baby.

Why can't you see,

 ...what you're doing to me,

when you don't believe a word I'm saying.

We can't go on together, with suspicious minds...

(SUSPICIOUS MINDS!)

And we can't live and breathe,

...with suspicious minds.

(OK, so I heard this song on the way home from work)

And poor Carol again witnesses it all.

And suddenly we're back in the "now" of present-day 1964, and the adult Carol is relating these events to her studly fiance because...

Well...mom's just been released from the local asylum after 20 years.

She's coming home. Today.

Cut to: a sadder, older (and hopefully wiser) Lucy Harbin returning to town after a long absence.

-----------------------------------------------

And this is just the pre-credit sequence!

Oh, Strait Jacket, Strait Jacket, how do I love thee?

This film has been championed by such diverse intellectuals as John Waters (who gave his respect by using a clip in Serial Mom)

and the unholy beautiful Kim Morgan of Sunset Gun.

Part 2 of this dissection of Strait Jacket coming soon (work permitting!) but seriously:

Watch this movie! 

(and Toon, just let me know and I'll send you a free copy--I think you really might like it!)