The Virginian: "Nightmare" 1970

Just got my copy of one of Joan Crawford's last TV appearances in the mail yesterday (Thank you, Mr. Clark!) and it's pretty damn neat. Outside of Johnny Guitar and One Must Die, I'm not too into westerns (no slur intended, it's just not my field of expertise) but this one has a few things going for it. For one (and most importantly) , Miss JoanfuckingCrawford guest-stars in it and she looks incredible at age 66 (although most of her canon was filmed in black and white, when color photography came in later on in her career, the results were quite flattering; her eyes seeming almost fluorescently aqua blue in some scenes).

"These eyes...cry every night...for you."

Also (and this is just a personal preference) there's a TON of hot guys on this show.

So yeah, I sat up and took notice, despite the fact that the remake of Dawn Of The Dead (one of my favorite movies-I mean, seriously...the first 15 minutes...!) was blasting not three feet away from my head.

(in case nobody's noticed, Sarah Polley is truly a great actress!)

And the plot of "Nightmare" is pretty interesting, too.

Joan Crawford stars as Stephanie (who's just married John White, a wealthy businessman) and who isn't accepted by her husband's family or employees (it's comical how many potential villains are set up early in the story). Everyone assumes she married him for his money (shades of 1934's Sadie McKee!), although it's clear husband and wife sincerely love each other. And Mrs. White has a rather checkered past (she's been widowed before and she's psychic, as well!).

Both of John's brothers hate her instantly:

(Bro # 1 is a horny, aggressive jerk).

(And bro # 2...sheesh, dude even smiles like an asshole!)

And then there's the hilariously hostile Native-American housekeeper:

(honestly, her dialogue in this scene is basically "Me no want-um white woman's food")

Basically, someone's trying to kill her husband and pin the blame on scarlet woman Stephanie. And someone nearly succeeds by loosening the wheels of his carriage, which overturns, crippling John.

Although he doesn't die in the "accident", it's clear he will no longer be very available, horizontally speaking.

(Stephanie White ponders this, even as her eyes wander below John's waistline)

Strolling out by the barn, Stephanie finds that one of John's brothers thinks he's more than up to the task,

to her extreme distaste.

Wait for it...

Here it comes...

WHAP!

This is so silly, though I'm thoroughly enjoying it. At least we finally know who the bad guy is.

Or do we...?

And then John dies in a fire.

(this is a pretty horrific scene)

Brother number one gets killed shortly thereafter and Stephanie is (of course) put on trial for his murder. Thank Heavens, brother number two is there to support her...Sure he's got a gambling problem and doesn't seem to get along with anyone, but still, he's so cute...

At the trial, even her friends' testimonies seem to damn her and things look fairly grim for poor Mrs. White, until The Virginian (!!!) shows up to save the day.

I have to admit I don't understand the concept of this series very well. The Virginian  almost seems like a supporting player here (but this is the only episode I've seen, so who knows?) but it's entertaining, in a goofy kind of way.

There is however a rather embarrassing "faked" mad scene (pure plot contrivance) that thankfully is quickly over.

(Whatever Happened To Baby Jane in color?)

The ending, when Stephanie White has worked through her difficulties, fought off her adversaries, and elected to go on with her life, is delightful.

And yeah, she still smiles like a Goddess.

So, would I recommend it? Not really, unless you're a Crawford Completist. I am, and I'm really happy I bought it. In 1970 JC made the one film I cannot watch again (it's really that bad) but even though decent film roles were not offered to actresses of her age and experience (has anything changed?), happily some varied, challenging roles were available on television, and Joanie took them and ran with 'em! Good going, girl.
And here's ....Nightmare.