No surprise, I'm about grunge. It's what I grew up listening to and in some way that I can't articulate properly, it's who I am. All kinds of music are interesting (wish I was more educated about Classical--I can't tell an oboe from a lute so I'd totally flunk Jeopardy--but I put on the classical station sometimes when I'm driving home from work, because it's peaceful).
Stuff that sounds depressing, soft or introverted makes me super happy, because I was always that kid in the classroom who was looking out of the window, trying to escape and getting yelled at for not paying attention. A completely clueless moron as a child (and to a certain extent, as an adult), I went to public schools, and I had a few really bad teachers, people who really didn't like kids at all.
But I also had some really great teachers (I'm talking to you, Mr. B), people who really wanted to enable us to open our minds and develop our own thought processes.
(Seriously, there's no way I should have been allowed to graduate from 12th grade--I rarely showed up and when I did, I had no idea what anyone was talking about. It is only through the extreme kindness of many of my teachers that I got the document).
And ummm...Pot has always been an issue with me, and I don't completely understand its effects on my life. First time I got high was when I was eight.
(note to babysitters and siblings: don't ever get kids stoned, that's not a good idea and very harmful, potentially so please, just don't do that).
On the other hand, some of my favorite people are stoners.
So...conflicted feelings.
One of the greatest, most touching conversations I've ever had was with a really nice guy at work (just a truly nice, thoughtful straight guy whom I had a massive crush on--in retrospect, I'm sure he was aware of it, but he never let on) and he came from very similar circumstances.
One day, RW said something that made me stop cold:
"Who do you think we'd be without weed?"
And I'm standing there over a garbage can, just totally happy to be having this conversation with this guy and I realized that he's never going to like me that way.
But looking at his brown skin, brown hair and eyes (I'm an idiot for any man with brown eyes) I felt like it was enough.
Just a sweet, melancholy moment that I was lucky enough to share with this great, amazing person, who is no longer in my life.
I sort of worry about him-I hope he's doing OK.
No shade, no cloud.
Shannon Hoon (September 26, 1967 – October 21, 1995)
8 comments:
I had that CD and remember not really giving it a chance. I gave it away and regretted it a few years later when SH died.
Well, Hello there Toon, and thanks! (I admit this was an odd post but SH has been on my mind lately for a variety of reasons).
First off, I still can't believe he's dead (I mean, I know he's gone, but still don't understand "why" things like this happen?
I've had to say goodbye to some very good friends, people who made me happy, because they decided to get into drugs that I WILL NOT have around me (I just can't watch any more lives spiralling down the drain, it hurts too much). Why do people hurt themselves?
Secondly, I ALWAYS have a few pictures of Shannon on my PC, from the first computer I ever had, and what prompted the post was a realization last night that freaked me out:
EVERY guy I've connected with resembles him!
Just friendly, laid back and calm.
And adorable. But maybe a little bit messed up, in some respects.
I'm reading "Heavier Than Heaven" right now, a biography of Kurt Cobain, and weirdly, at odd moments it brings tears to my eyes. It's like I've been through this.
Dude, just STOP!
Think. Experience. Enjoy. It's what we're all here for, so don't throw it away.
So this is my little tribute to a man who has always meant a lot to me.
Shannon Hoon (September 26, 1967 –October 21, 1995)
I knew who he was, but hadn't heard his music.
I'm a little on the dark side myself, so I at least partially get this entry. And then there is always the concept of testing indestructibility. ~Mary
Mary, I need to catch up with you! "...the concept of testing indestructibility" is what I think it's all about too, to some extent. Embarassed admission: I'm not really on the dark side, the dark side just keeps getting thrust on me, and I don't completely understand why. It's like I'm watching very smart, very cool people devolve.
Sadness.
And lots of love.
(And if I haven't mentioned it before, I'm lucky enough to know some of the coolest people ever born. I'm really blessed.)
There is some poignancy in the word dark, but, during this moment when you are at peace with the world.
Well thanks, whoever you are. It's like some collision between how things feel and how it really is, and some gentle people(like Shannon), who are not equipped to live in such a harsh world,try to re-make reality the way they wish it was, but the methods they use (drugs or whatever means)take a harsh toll.
Does that make any sense?
And thank you for commenting, it's kind of cool when I check the hits on this site and this Blind Melon post seems to get checked out a lot, and by people from all over. I was kind of worried people would it was stupid, but I guess there's a lot of people who love Shannon Hoon as much as I do!
Rest in peace, dude.
This man sang words that I felt came from my soul...I still mourn the loss of a friend I never met...his words and voice still move me..
I can't put it any better than you have, even though I don't know you, so I'm just going to repeat your words verbatim:
"This man sang words that I felt came from my soul...I still mourn the loss of a friend I never met...his words and voice still move me.." Thank you so much...
Post a Comment